Hair Like Brian May Blues

I woke up about eleven with hair like Brian May
I woke up about eleven (oooh) with hair like Brian May
I’m supposed to be the hardest man on the estate

I’m gonna go down to the river, the one that they call the Dee
I’m gonna go down to the river (oooh), that old snake they call the Dee
Lord you gotta let me drown so those ringlets they won’t see

Oh I need this situation about as much as I need
The Armoury Show’s entire back catalogue

#hmhb #HalfManHalfBiscuit

Mathematically Safe

May morning, hanging round a trapdoor
Saw a girl like I’ve never seen before
I wanna make her mathematically safe
Wanna keep her mathematically safe
Take her up where we’re mathematically safe
Gonna wake up mathematically safe

Mid table there’s nothing much on my fork
It’s alright though ‘cos I can go for my walk
Around Cartmel, mathematically safe
Ain’t no alarm bell, we’re mathematically safe
On a lilo, in a sea of alright
I’m a mongrel and I just won a dog fight
#hmhb #HalfManHalfBiscuit

Time flies by when you're a driver of a train

Speeding out of Trumpton with a cargo of cocaine

I get high when I'm a pilot of a plane

Touching down in Camberwick, I'm stoned out of my brain.

Under bridges, over bridges, to our destination

Careful with that spliff, Eugene, it causes condensation.

#hmhb #HalfManHalfBiscuit

https://youtu.be/FlJKJv2WB20?si=CCxrarTAgn15QstV

“What made Colombia famous”

What price your bluster
What price your smarm
I’ve seen body parts lying in biology labs
With far more charm

Oh, big truck, Innsbruck
King of the Hill
Cock-a-doodle-doo
What made Colombia famous
Has made a prick out of you

#hmhb #HalfManHalfBiscuit