Hello, I am gray-asexual 
This is a small thread on how I experience the world of sexuality.
I don't normally feel sexually attracted to anyone, but I am a romantic and very (non-sexually) sensual person. Sometimes some people make feel a wish to kiss them and hold their hand, but not to do sexual things with them. The number of people I have wished to have sex with can be counted on one hand's fingers, and some of those people are fictional characters. Sex is something I could live without and be perfectly happy about.
I am not opposed to having sex though, and as my (humble) experience with sex has shown, some aspects of it can be enjoyable. I don't feel comfortable talking about details publicly, especially because those details include another person's privacy.
As an analogy: I don't really like alcohol, it's unlikely I'll go out of my way to consume beverages which contain it, but it's not that I *hate* it. Sometimes some drinks with alcohol can have nice taste and if I am offered such a drink, in the right company and in the right mood, I will take it, but as a whole, alcoholic beverages aren't my thing and I could certainly continue my life perfectly happily even if I never licked another alcoholic drink in my life again.
However
Most of my life I've felt pressured into feeling like I have to have a sexual relationship or otherwise I'd be a failure of a person. Even if not opposed to sex, you still feel like you have to do something that you aren't enthusiastic about or else you are unlovable and don't deserve affection. It skews with how you perceive yourself and your relationship with other people. My teen years were filled with anxiety over getting into a relationship and "getting over" the whole sex thing finally, and I would constantly convince myself that I have crushes on random boys that I never really liked romantically or sexually. This pressure is greater than one would imagine, and it harms everyone, not just aces.
Going back to the analogy: Every other person you ever meet actually really likes alcoholic beverages and goes so far as to label themselves based on what kinds of beverages they like, they often base their relationship fulfillment on whether they can drink with their partner(s), they sometimes crave their favourite drinks, and if they never drank those beverages again, they'd feel really sad. In this world, you are expected to have the same level of enthusiasm for alcohol as them but you just don't, and if you say you don't like drinking, they think you are weird and ill and need to fix that for their comfort.
(I find that this analogy is not that far from real life attitudes towards alcohol though!)
#asexual #asexuality #lgbt #queer #graysexual #grayasexual #demisexual #aspec #ace
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