Carcharodon’s and Cherd’s Top Ten(ish) of 2023

By Carcharodon

Carcharodon

I’ve been tetchy in 2023. Little things I’d normally barely even notice—about people, records, life in general, Mrs Carcharodon‘s recent insistence that we buy an air fryer—have really irked me. I’m (just about) self-aware enough that I clocked this, only to get more irked when I couldn’t put my finger on why. Yes, I turned 40, so am officially Olde and probably have to start listening to Saxon soon but that doesn’t fully explain it. It’s been a pretty good year in the main. I’m in a new job I like, Shark Pup No 1 has adjusted well to starting school and Shark Pup No 2 continues to get larger(!). We’ve had some good holidays, both as a family and, as a 40th treat to myself, a great trip to Islay, where very large quantities of smoky scotch1 were consumed with three very good friends. So why was I so tetchy? Maybe I was just tired?

As the year drew to a close, however, I realized I wasn’t just tired, I was weary. There’s a difference and it’s an important one. While I’m very lucky in many ways, there’s also a lot going on in my life, lots of spinning plates, and I don’t really take any time for myself. That was a bit of a realization. I’ve never been much for self-care or introspection; if I’m quiet, it doesn’t mean that I’m having deep thoughts, I’ve simply powered down for a bit. So, my resolution for 2024 is to find a little time to do a bit more for myself. I want to up my exercise game. I want to start reading more again. In short, I need to make time to do things I want to do, not just things I need to do. Needy, hey?

Apparently, I also needed a new list mate, after my emotional support sponge of several years ascended to a new name and (deservedly) to a new list status. Farewell Kenstrosity, I’ll miss you but maybe the real List mates are the ones we made along the way. In general, the USS AMG has charted a steady course through choppy waters in 2023, with Steel Druhm a steady, if stern, presence at the helm, while the editors dealt out the daily lashes and suspiciously cloudy grog. Thanks to them for all their efforts (only sometimes literally) whipping us into shape, and to all my fellow writers. You are all, to quote everyone’s favorite A.N.Gry Doc, idiots and I love less than half of you, half as well as you deserve but you are still better than many alternatives (like the Commentariat, who are awful(ly loveable)).

And with that, I have indulged myself enough. So, without further ado, here is the List of the writer who last year won the First Annual Killjoy Kudos for Best Taste Award (although, strangely, the statuette to which I assume I am entitled, has thus far failed to materialize…).

#ish. Omnivortex // Circulate – Tech death—indeed, death metal in general—isn’t really my thing, and the adulation heaped on Omnivortex’s 2020 effort, Diagrams of Consciousness, caused only bemusement for me. However, Circulate is a different beast. It’s interesting that my (now former *sob*) listmate Kenstrosity awarded Diagrams… his #1 spot in 2020 but, in his review of this year’s effort, said that it took Circulate a while to click for him, with the consistency of songwriting more pronounced here, over its predecessor’s spiky highlights. Perhaps that says something about the difference between what my erstwhile partner and I respectively look for in records. Perhaps it doesn’t. Either way, Omnivortex bullied and beasted their way onto this List because there was no force to stop them.

#10. Warcrab // The Howling Silence – Warcrab’s Damned in Endless Night made it to #6 on my first-ever List here at AMG, way back in 2019. Looking back now, it probably should have been higher. It’s been a long wait for The Howling Silence but it didn’t disappoint. Operating at that sweet intersection between doom and sludge, the UK veterans sound as filthy and pummelling as ever and, as Cherd pointed out, are now allowing elements of OSDM to bleed into their rumbling assault. The combination makes them as brvtal as they’ve always been but brings a sense of freshness and revitalized energy to Warcrab that I didn’t expect but loved to see.

#9. Leiþa // Reue – I had a sneaking suspicion that I underrated the second record from Leiþa, when I reviewed it back in January. This was confirmed when AMG awarded it ROTM in extremely timely fashion, on February 1st, declaring it to be a “masterful platter of great—potentially even excellent—black metal.” And so it has proved. It’s an album I’ve returned to over and over as the year went on. It’s hard to overstate the sheer raw, dark emotion that Reue’s creator Noise channeled into this record. For all that, the great songwriting brings a surprising amount of melody, although this only serves to heighten the sense of loss, remorse, and bitter self-loathing that drenches this (potentially) excellent album. It’s a devastating album.

#8. Vanishing Kids // Miracle of Death – It’s hard to put into words exactly what makes Vanishing Kids’ brand of progressive doom so damn good. Sure, Jason Hartman is a fucking great guitarist but he’s not completely alone in that. Nikki Drohomyreky’s vocals are hauntingly beautiful but again, other vocalists can achieve that. In his review of Miracle of Death, Steel highlighted the “graceful, ethereal, and dreamy atmosphere” conjured by the band from the opener “Spill the Dark” (also my undisputed song of the year) and that’s probably about as close as we’ll get to the pinning it down. The fact is that Vanishing Kids have that very rare something, that je ne sais quoi. Combining trad doom, psychedelia, 70s occult rock, and more, to create something truly unique requires genuine craft and these guys have it in spades.

#7. The Circle // Of Awakening – I only went back to The Circle to be sure I could cross it off my List’s longlist. After all, it only got a 3.5 from Dear Hollow, whose taste overlaps with mine to a fair degree. That was about six weeks ago and I’m here to tell you DH underrated it. Of Awakening has been in heavy rotation ever since. Drawing together the likes of Ahab, Dark Funeral, and My Dying Bride, this is a crushingly dark album, that, despite its beautifully trim runtime, has a real sense of grandeur and majesty about it. Contrary to DH‘s thoughts, for me, Of Awakening is so tightly written that The Circle can get away with being as pummelling as they want but there’s also a lot more nuance and refinement here than one might hear on the first spin. Trust me. I’ve spun this a lot.

#6. Convocation // No Dawn for the Caliginous Night – There’s a sweet spot in the year for dropping records. Too early and they may be forgotten; too late and people may not have enough time with them. November 24th definitely falls into the latter camp. With more time, No Dawn for the Caliginous Night could probably have laid siege to my top three but I just didn’t get to spend the same amount of time with Convocation’s massive slab of outstanding doom as I did with the other outstanding things you will read about below. Be in no doubt though, Cherd was correct2 to drop a 4.5 on this majestic beast of a record.

#5. Antrisch // EXPEDITION II: Die Passage – Atmoblack comes in for a lot of stick. Some of it is even justified. But, when it’s done right, it’s a thing of beauty and Antrisch undoubtedly does it right. Frigid atmosphere pours out of EXPEDITION II in icy waves but never at the expense of the music, which is killer. Every time I press play, Antrisch drags me away to a tale of terror in the frozen arctic wastes, woven in shades of deepest black. The tremolos cut through me and the rasping vocals cause the hairs on the back of my neck to rise. I feel this record, as much as I hear it and that’s exactly the way atmoblack should be.

#4. Chained to the Bottom of the Ocean // Obsession Destruction – Chained to the Bottom of the Ocean understand claustrophobia. When I listen to Obsession Destruction it feels like the walls are closing in, like the air is getting thick and hard to take in. The record feels like it’s pressing in on you. That is what sludge should do and Chained is drawing on inspiration from doom to heighten that sense. It’s beautiful, anguished, and bludgeoning all at once, and despite passing the hour mark, it’s compelling. I loved this record from the moment I heard it, even as it crushed the life out of me.

#3. Fires in the Distance // Air Not Meant for Us – I don’t usually accuse I have never accused Thus Spoke of underrating anything. Until now. The faintly progressive, doom-tinged melodeath of Air Not Meant for Us is not great. It is excellent. And I almost slept on it. For whatever reason, the first time I span this album, I didn’t even make it to the end and discarded it. But I came back, some months later, and was floored by this record. The deep seams of melody, the excellent use of keys, the soaring guitars, the whole package hit me with a force that only two other records did this year. Whatever was wrong with me the first time around has been scorched away, as Fires in the Distance burn with emotional intensity. The album is beautifully written and paced, which for all its weight and heaviness, also feels fragile and honest, revealing new depths on each revisit.

#2. Wayfarer // American Gothic – Wayfarer’s 2020 effort, A Romance with Violence, was so close. So close to fulfilling the promise of their Wild West black metal. But for all that it did well, as with their earlier two efforts, too many of the tracks went on too long, suffocating under their own weight. As Doom_et_Al said in his review, however, this year’s “American Gothic is the album Wayfarer have been threatening to make for years … Wayfarer take the violence and beauty of the land they inhabit and translate that to music that reflects that dichotomy.” I’m not sure there’s a better way to say it. American Gothic is the album where everything that Wayfarer has struggled to bring together for years finally clicked into place and it’s something truly special.3

#1. Cursebinder // Drifting – Poland’s Cursebinder kinda crept up on me. Since its April release, I have seen little acclaim for it, and my attempts to sell it to my fellow scribes have been met with non-committal murmurs of appreciation. But there is something about Drifting’s progressive black metal, borrowing heavily from both doom and post-metal, that just kept me coming back. Again. And again. There’s a shimmering intensity to the record, driven as much by the bright synth work, as Hubert Fudała’s crushing riffs and Maciej Proficz’ sulphuric vox, which means that I tend to find myself stopping whatever it is that I’m doing and simply staring into the middle distance while Drifting washes over me. It’s not the most technically complex thing on this list, nor is it a record that defies categorization. It’s simply the album that speaks to me in a way nothing else I heard this year did and what more can you look for in an Album of the Year?

Honorable mentions

• Anti-God Hand // Blight Year – Blight Year took everything I liked about Anti-God Hand’s debut, Wretch, and refined it to a point where it still remained so harsh as to border on raw BM. Yet there is something about this album that I find kind of magical.
• BRIQUEVILLE // IIII – Finding a mid-way point between the melodicism and experimentation of ISIS’ Wavering Radiant and the slightly disconcerting edge of Celestial, BRIQUEVILLE’s excellent use of synths and samples, together with some sawing, jagged riffs is a winner.
• Downfall of Gaia // Silhouettes of Disgust – This is the record where Downfall of Gaia manages to blend most effectively all the disparate facets of their sound. Progressive and melodic, bleak and furious, this is a record to get lost exploring.
• God Disease // Apocalyptic Doom – With Apoclyptic Doom, God Disease delivered exactly that. This was the end of the world, cataclysmic stuff. What more can I say? If you lift and “Leper by the Grace of God” doesn’t help you hit a PB, I advise you to take up chess.
• Lo! // The Gleaners – I carelessly threw The Gleaners into April’s Filter after only a couple of spins, recognizing the quality on show but not having spent much time with it. Lo!’s abrasive sludgy post-metal / hardcore has stayed with me, however, as the sheer anger and intensity, and (surprising amounts of) melody kept me coming back.
• Saturnus // The Storm Within – In an incredibly strong year for doom, Saturnus turned in a great offering that I thought would be top 5 for sure. It didn’t have quite the staying power I thought it would—not least thanks to those sickly sweet spoken word parts—but it remains a great record, with one of the best SOTY in “The Calling.”
• Sworn // A Journey Told through Fire – Great Norwegian melodic black metal, channeling the likes of Vorga and Uada but also Insomnium, this record was just well written, beautifully paced, and fun as fuck.

Songs o’ the Year:

Cherd

I’ve heard it said that the older one gets, the faster time seems to pass. That’s why your memories of childhood seem to take place over an interminable timespan, while your children seem to blast through developmental phases and clothing sizes faster than a grindcore song. Take the little goober directly to the left. He was six weeks old when AMG announced their open call for writers that would eventually lead to my tenure here. Now he’s five and a half and draws pictures of angry carrots and ninja-bread men (a subset of gingerbread men). Since gaining the summit of middle age, I now face the downward slope of life’s back half, with its ever-increasing velocity and promise of an abrupt end. All this to say, I don’t have any wry observations about 2023 because the fucking thing blew by way too fast.

Perhaps the only way to dampen the breakneck pace of life and reclaim one’s sanity is to partake in some nice, slow doom metal. In this respect, the universe was merciful as it gifted us with the finest year for down-tuned, down-tempo misery we’ve had in ages. There are no fewer than seven doom or doom adjacent entries on my list this year and another handful that only just missed the cut. Yearly disclaimer: if you read my list or any of the others, and wonder why you don’t see your pet record, remember that I am but one man with but one kindergartner who robs me of time and life force. I probably didn’t get to it. Or maybe I did and your taste is just terrible. I’d like to thank Steel Druhm for keeping the good ship AMG afloat through a combination of duct tape, bungee cords, and brutal yet dispassionately professional beatings, AMG himself for forgetting that I work here, thus ensuring I won’t be fired, and of course you for reading. With that, here’s my objectively correct list.

(ish) Chained to the Bottom of the Ocean // Obsession Destruction – This wouldn’t be a Cherd list without some sludge doom, and Chained to the Bottom of the Ocean put out one of the finest examples of the genre in 2023. Always a prolific EP band, Obsession Destruction is only their second full length of the last six years, but it sees the band finally shrug off their reputation as a Thou knockoff and come fully into their own. “The Altar” and “The Gates Have Closed and They Will Never Open” have forever entered my rotation of killer sludge doom tracks. The only band to beat them at their game in 2023 was Warcrab, but we’ll get to them in a bit.

#10. Xoth // Exogalactic – No one has more fun with cosmic horrors than Xoth, except maybe those of us who get to smash the play button over and over again on their albums. I got on the “Party Lovecraft” bus four years ago when I first heard Interdimensional Invocations, and while it may have taken a complete remixing of the album at the 11th hour to get there, Exogalactic does not disappoint as a follow-up. Songs like “Reptilian Bloodsport,” “Saga of the Blade,” and “Map to the Stars, Monument to the Ancients” take their rightful place alongside the band’s best work as they continue to hone their winning combination of blackened melo-death and tech-thrash.

#9. Oromet // Oromet – I’m always thrilled when a new band impresses me with their debut record enough to land a hard-fought spot on my yearly top ten. This year it happened twice. The first entry is Oromet’s self-titled LP of expansive, airy funeral doom. The album art of a dramatically jutting rocky peak piercing the firmament while bathed in golds and blues could hardly be a better visual representation of the music. This two-man project of Patrick Hills and Dan Aguilar is an exercise in judiciously balanced light and shadow, weight and buoyancy. There’s as much empty space on this record as there is tectonic heft, with overt beauty and ragged desperation embraced in equal measure.

#8. Big|Brave // Nature Morte – In the grand tradition of quoting myself out of laziness: “The most impressive thing about Nature Morte is its meticulous construction. No matter how sparse it gets, no matter how repetitive the drum strikes or how loose the guitar squalls, there’s no wasted space. None of the three out of six tracks that stretch past nine minutes feel remotely that long thanks to well-placed transitions, hypnotic rhythms, and the commanding presence of (Robin) Wattie’s vocals… Big|Brave delivers a stunning, unique statement on Nature Morte. Without changing the core of the band’s sound, it signals a remarkable refinement of vision a decade into their existence.”

#7. Curta’n Wall // Siege Ubsessed – Abysmal Specter’s MO has always been to knock down the castle gates with his goofy parade of wizards, knights, and witches riding ostriches and walruses while sneaking infectious melodies and riffs in through the kitchen servants’ entrance. This is true of Curta’n Wall, one of his dozen or so projects other than his flagship band Old Nick, but on Siege Ubsessed, the black metal mad scientist stands at his infernal machine, turns the knob marked “raw black metal” down to its lowest setting, and the knobs marked “accordion,” “bagpipes,” “harpsichord,” and “pan flute” to 11. This is jaunty, stupid medieval folk music and an absolutely essential release in Abysmal Specter’s ever-growing oeuvre.

#6. Warcrab // The Howling Silence – Warcrab is the premier death/sludge outfit operating today, and this is their most refined release to date. As I said in my review, “With The Howling Silence, Warcrab both re-instates their sludge doom bonafides and leans into proper OSDM in ways they haven’t before.” It’s quite the trick making not only one of the best death metal songs of the year in “Sword of Mars,” but also the best sludge doom song in “Sourlands Under a Rancid Sky,” but Warcrab pulls it off with aplomb. Even as more bands join this burgeoning style, none approach these Brits in terms of talent or execution.

#5. Agriculture // Agriculture – The second of my two favorite new bands of 2023, Agriculture’s “ecstatic black metal” is unlike anything else I heard this year, and I listen to A LOT of black metal. By turns stark and lush, these Californian’s debut record was forged in the fires of blazing black riff craft and the contemporary post-rock zeitgeist. While that usually means some form of black gaze, this is not remotely the case with Agriculture. There’s nothing laconic or detached here. The almost shocking earnestness may leave some a bit taken aback, but it’s not as if they’re any different in that regard than the countless self-serious black metal musician basement dwellers the world over.

#4. Carnosus // Visions of Infinihility – I’m sure many of my colleagues will fall all over themselves in their respective lists about how much good death metal came out in 2023. I enjoyed my share of it as well, with Dying Fetus, Fossilization, and the mighty Incantation all turning my head, but the only purely death metal record I couldn’t stop spinning was Carnosus’ tech-death barn burner Visions of Infinihility. Tight, vicious, and catchy, this record also features the second-best harsh vocal performance of the year behind only the one found on my number-one record. A lot of vocalists can oscillate between death growls and blackened shrieks, but precious few can give you four different tones in one song while putting affected spins on individual words the way Jonatan Karasiak can.

#3. Somnuri // Desiderium – I’ve been pushing this NYC progressive sludge band like a used car dealer with a quota to meet since they dropped their debut in 2017. They’ve rewarded my faith in them by improving on each subsequent release. From my review: “Somnuri has done exactly what you want to see a promising band do with their third record. Namely, take anything that worked with the first two, amp that up a bit, and commit fully to a new wrinkle to elevate the material. The addition of (Soundgarden-esque) throwback radio alt-rock into their roiling pot of hardcore and progressive sludge makes Desiderium these Brooklynites’ strongest outing to date. It’s rare that an album this aggressive and energetic goes down this smooth.”

#2. Hellish Form // Deathless – This record is special. In any other year, it probably would have been my number one. As I said in April, “Considering it embodies three of the most miserable subgenres in all of metal (funeral doom, sludge, and drone), the remarkable thing about Deathless is how powerfully hopeful it is. The themes of the album are pointedly heavy and political. It’s an admonition of an oppressive world delivered with withering vitriol by the aggrieved, but both musically and lyrically, (Willow) Ryan and (Jacob) Lee steadily fix their gaze upward.” I doubt there are any more affecting lines in metal this year than Ryan’s delivery in the title track of “You can take my life, but I am deathless. I am deathless.”

#1. Convocation // No Dawn for the Caliginous Night – What else can I say about the first 4.5 I’ve ever awarded on this site? “By the time you reach the halfway point in opening track “Graveless yet Dead,” you’ve heard swirling organs, ominous violins, harmonized choirs, riffs that measure their gravity on the scale of celestial bodies, and (Marko) Neuman’s enormous death roar. The whole thing keeps escalating like a light growing in intensity until, nearly blinding, a biblically accurate angel emerges with its six wings and concentric wheels full of eyes and multiple heads and burnished bronze appendages and it bellows in an inhuman voice, “B̴̧̈E̴͝ͅ ̸̫̈Ń̷̦Ò̸̭T̸̜̈́ ̸̟̄A̷͈͌F̵̯̊R̴̳̽Ā̷͇I̸̜͊D̶͈͛.”…With No Dawn for the Caliginous Night, LL and Neuman have completed their transformation from practitioners of impressive if well-trod death doom to a unique voice in the ranks of funerophiles. This is a towering celebration of death’s enormity, packaged in the heaviest and most shimmering of vessels.”

Honorable Mentions

• Gridlink // Coronet Juniper – Acidic but deceptively smooth grindcore from one of the best bands in the genre over the last decade plus.
• Stortregn // Finitude – Just because I was slightly disappointed in the direction these Swiss boys are going after releasing my favorite record of 2021 doesn’t mean this isn’t one of my fifteen favorite records of 2023. They may be moving more and more tech, but they’re still Stortregn and they still slay.
• AGLO // Build Fear – STAR TREK THEMED DEATH DOOM SLUDGE ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? COULD ANYTHING POSSIBLY BE MORE CHERD!?
• Vanishing Kids // Miracle of Death – I liked Heavy Dreamer a fair amount, but by leaning harder into classic doom, Miracle of Death rose to list-worthy. “Spill The Dark” is one of the very best songs of any genre this year.
• Bell Witch // Future’s Shadow Part 1: The Clandestine Gate – I’m reserving some judgment for when all three parts are revealed, but this single 83-minute track is plenty compelling on its own.

Songs o’ the Year

In alphabetical order by band:

#2023 #Aetherian #AGLO #Agriculture #AntiGodHand #Antrisch #BigBrave #Blackbraid #BlogPost #Briqueville #Carcharodon #CarcharodonSTopTenIshOf2023 #CarcharodonSAndCherdSTopTenIshOf2023 #Carnosus #ChainedToTheBottomOfTheOcean #Convocation #Cursebinder #CurtaNWall #DownfallOfGaia #FiresInTheDistance #GodDisease #Gridlink #HellishForm #Inherus #Leitha #Listurnalia #Lo_ #MoonlightSorcery #Omnivortex #Oromet #Saturnus #Somnuri #Stortregn #Sworn #TheCircle #VanishingKids #Warcrab #Wayfarer #Xoth

Heavy Moves Heavy 2023 – AMG’s Ultimate Workout Playlist

By Ferox

Before I was press-ganged into the Skull Pit, I, Ferox, began curating an exercise playlist named Heavy Moves Heavy. For nearly a decade, I alone reaped the benefits of this creation–many were the hours spent preening aboard my Squat Yacht, mixing oils so that I could marvel at the glistening gainz unlocked by the List. My indentured servitude is your good fortune, because a new and improved version of the Heavy Moves Heavy playlist is now available to all readers of AMG in good standing.1 The lifters among us have spent countless hours in the Exercise Oubliette testing these songs for tensile strength and ideological purity. Enjoy–but don’t listen if you are being screened for PEDs in the near future. This music will cause your free testosterone levels to skyrocket even as it adds length and sheen to your back pelt.

Only a blind master of epic poetry could capture the feats of strength performed by the lifters of AMG in 2023. We did have a bard wandering around the Hall, but no one has seen him since the last n00b uprising was put down. Suffice it to say that 2023 saw the List spur our Fearsome Five on to ever-more-epic achievements. These are the songs that got us there.

Whose contributions are best? What omissions expose us as dilettantes? Add your comments and song suggestions below. The song suggestions will be subjected to a remorseless testing process we call The Winnowing, and those that survive will be added to the master list. The comments will of course be ignored.

To the list!

Kenstrosity Bursts Through His Own Workout Gear:

“Askoma (Sorethroat)” // Massen (Gentle Brutality) – I am a psychopathic gym goer. If I can’t listen to huge grooves, massively thick guitars and meaty growls, I want to pump iron in silence. Thankfully, Massen refuse to let me work out without a soundtrack brimming with those exact parameters, and thereby allows me to break PRs on the reg.

“Catapulted into Hyperspace” // Nothingness (Supraliminal) – An unbelievably hooky death metal monster, “Catapulted into Hyperspace” has been my iron giant for almost a full year. The incredible momentum with which this song pushes my body should destroy me. Yet, the crazy swagger held in these riffs enlivens my nerves and oxygenates my blood like nothing else.

“Clockwork God” // Tardigrade Inferno (Burn the Circus) – Have you seen the physique of your average circus acrobat? Those fuckers are seriously jacked and shredded, yet lithe and agile. Hence, when the chunky chugs of “Clockwork God” enter my earballs, I can see my future, and it shows me at peak physical condition. All thanks to a vengeful little water bear.

“Destined to be Killed” // Phlebotomized (Clouds of Confusion) – Phlebotomized may be one of the weirder death metal bands to feature on this list, but “Destined to be Killed” is nothing short of a ripper. Great for those high-intensity intervals, the blistering blasts and tempered marches held here make for a great workout banger.

“Elysiism” // Wormhole (Almost Human) – Form is everything. Form is the only path to heavy. Once you get there, you’ll want a companion that understands what heavy means. Slam is that companion, and “Elysiism” contains one of the best set of slamming riffs of the year, hands down. Get it in you and watch your gainz balloon past your wildest expectations!

“Lift the Blindfold” // Crypta (Shades of Sorrow) – Sometimes you really just need something classic and thrashy to get the blood hot and the muscles flexing. Crypta understood the assignment with “Lift the Blindfold,” a clinic in shredding riffs and thrashy energy sure to get you movin’ and groovin’ with gusto.

“Liquified Mind” // Outer Heaven (Infinite Psychic Depths) – The bar is pressing into my traps. I’m deep in this squat and failure is approaching fast. There’s nothing I can do, I’m not going to make it back to start position. “Liquified Mind” starts playing and all of a sudden, I’ve pumped out three more reps as if I’m on autopilot. Such is the power of filthy, grooving, massive death metal.

“Ode to the Meatsaw” // Vomitory (All Heads are Gonna Roll) – Nothing beats an arena banger, an anthemic, fist-pumping slab of chunky death for the gym. That’s where Vomitory’s “Ode to the Meatsaw” shines in full glory, carving up bodies with a meatsaw as I sculpt mine with dumbbells. What more could a gym rat like me ask for?

“Symphony of a Dying Star” // Mental Cruelty (Zweilicht) – Versatility is a virtue. Variety is key to an adaptable body. So, when I want to swap between high-intensity cardio, intervals, or just pick up a heavy thing and put it back down again, the powerful genre-swapping talents of Mental Cruelty’s “Symphony of a Dying Star” serve me brilliantly.

“Tormenting Fungal Infestation” // Vomitheist (NekroFuneral) – I love a mid-tempo banger to fuel my weightlifting hour, and there’s no better fodder for that than Vomitheist’s “Tormenting Fungal Infestation.” Ideal for any gym session where metered, disciplined breaths are essential to an effective movement, this song will keep you in the pocket all day long.

Ferox vs. The Curlers in the Squat Rack:

“In But Not Of” // Afterbirth (In But Not Of) – The shotgun marriage of post-metal crescendoes and a climactic brutal death freakout makes for the (Workout) Song O’ The Year. The end of this song will leave you well and truly berzerkified and ready to do less than prudent things to yourself.

“Breath of Satan” // Svartkonst (May the Night Fall) – Stop fucking around and focus. “Breath of Satan” is a fleeting blast of blistering intensity that’s guaranteed to help you accomplish ONE THING before the rest of the List does its work.

“Castle of Grief” // Carnosus (Visions of Infinihility) – Carnosus’s tech death onslaught is spry and engaging enough to keep you distracted from the suffering that is only now commencing. The saucy rolled tongue flourish midway through is a reliable font of joy in troubled times.

“Manuscripts of Madness” // Xoth (Exogalactic) – Certain dullards crossed their arms at Xoth’s latest, but do they even lift? This track infuses melodeath into the band’s pan-genre stew, and its sing-along chorus is just the thing to keep you tumescent during the early-mid workout blues.

“Warlocks Grim and Withered Hags” // Hellripper (Warlocks Grim and Withered Hags) – Here’s a black thrash epic to lose yourself in while you can still recognize the concept of “fun.” It’s gonna hurt from here on out, so you might as well make the most of this track.

“Throatsaw” // Autopsy (Ashes, Organs, Blood, and Crypts) – Only “Throatsaw” is real. This List could be “Throatsaw” repeated fifty times and still be equally effective.

“Mother of Ghouls” // Nexorum (Tongue of Thorns) – “Too many riffs,” sniffed a dainty staffer about Nexorum’s debut album. God help that timid soul if he’s ever exposed to this track from the band’s follow-up, which showcases riffs on riffs AND the Guitar Solo O’ The Year (Slayer-Inspired Division).

“Bastard Creature” // Angerot (The Profound Recreant) – A bit o’ bombast to help you puff your chest out for the endgame. “Rejoice in the birth of the bastard creature!” Angerot is talking about you, in whatever new form you take after finishing this workout.

“Pitch Black Resolve/Nickel Grass Mosaic” // Gridlink (Coronet Jupiter) – Here’s a grind double shot to keep you moving after your brain quits on you.2 This slice of tuneful madness sets a relentless marching pace and will not hesitate to holler at you until the thing is done.

“Throne ov the Morning Star” // Plaguewielder (Hot Graves) – Pick up something heavy and walk across the gym with it before softness sets in. You need an iron grip to get through life unscathed by the handshakes of farmers. Grip strength blowouts are the one trve way to finish any workout and this track will help you attain those Meathooks Ov Doom.

Thus Spoke and the Smiting of the Half-Depth Heretics:

“Join me in Armageddon” // Thy Art is Murder (Godlike) – Say whatever you’re going to say about TAiM, this is exactly the kind of anthemic banger you need when you’re chucking heavy stuff about. So what are you waiting for? Come and join me in armageddon the gym.

“Enlighten Through Agony” // Dying Fetus (Make Them Beg for Death) – Fun fact: I’d never listened to Dying Fetus before this year—DON’T COME FOR ME PLEASE OK, I’M WORKING ON IT. The rhythm on this thing, the brutality, the incredibly appropriate title. Time to get enlightened.

“Leper by the Grace of God” // God Disease (Apocalyptic Doom) – Dark, brutal, and dragging. This is the resting-bitch-face workout accompaniment you absolutely cannot do without on a playlist like this. Plus, it has an awesome, haunting solo that I personally find very motivating.

“Serrated Jaws” // Grand Cadaver (Deities of Deathlike Sleep) – Tell me these aren’t the perfect lyrics for lifting: “Go for the kill//Tighten the grip//Stare into the eyes of fear.” Yeah, I didn’t think so. The real ones get their spot from the music like this.

“Manhunt” // To the Grave (Director’s Cuts) – I would stick the whole album here if I could, but this one gets the most plays. Pure menace and rage. And the way those “TRUST MEEE…“’s are delivered…chills. And gains.

“Taufbefehl” // Nightmarer (Deformity Adrift) – Having a title I can barely pronounce correctly doesn’t stop me from wanting to belt it out every time I hear it alongside those glorious concrete-head-smashing chord-and-beat combos each chorus. Stone-cold banger and perfect for lifting.

“Mortal Shells” // Mental Cruelty (Zweilicht) – Oh my word, that descending minor melody surge that is the chorus of this song, blastbeats coming in, symphonics soaring, “THIS EEARRTH FORRRSAAKES MEE” makes me feel fucking invincible. And it will make you feel invincible too.

“The Insignificants” // Cattle Decapitation (Terrasite) – It’s angry, it’s nihilistic, its rhythms are on point. And it ends with an utterly bleak and brilliant sung/screamed refrain that is just the right balance between brooding and motivating. Weird but it works.

“Catastrophize” // Humanity’s Last Breath (Ashen) – “Ugh why is there so much deathcore on this playlist, Thus?” “Shut up,” I say, as I put another plate on the pendulum squat for you, “this one’s going to help.” It just beat album neighbor “Death Spiral” to make it here and you’re gonna feel its worth.

“Hammer from the Howling Void” // Sulphur Aeon (Seven Crowns and Seven Seals) – This song is just kind of epic. Its driving urgent melodies, group shouts and wails, and grand scale are like a shield of armor. It’s also possessed of a chorus with that ideal lifting tempo. You are the hammer from the howling void. Embrace it.

Holdeneye Practices Radical Body Acceptance:

“Unholy Hell” // Mystic Prophecy (Hellriot) – Mystic Prophecy has been delivering the beef for over twenty years, and this year’s album was especially beefy. “Unholy Hell” is a plodding groove-fest that makes me feel like I’m taking a 40 oz tomahawk steak to the face and swallowing it whole. Thank you, sir, may I have another?

“War Remains” // Enforced (War Remains) – Few bands can bring forth my deeply repressed primal rage like Enforced. “War Remains” has a snarling groove that just won’t quit, and I’ve been using it as a performance-enhancing sound-substance all year.

“Blood Blind” // Cannibal Corpse (Chaos Horrific) – While “Blood Blind” may not be my favorite CC gym song ever, it’s damn close. Corpsegrinder’s vocal build-up over the the chugging riff that leads up to the song’s “chorus” makes me see more red than any Cannibal Corpse album cover can hope to muster.

“Academia” // Finality (Technocracy) – One of the most ferocious album-openers I heard all year, “Academia” has been helping me dominate gym class ever since its release. Intensely melodic and powerfully groovy, this power/thrash barnburner will give you a doctorate in gainz.

“Best Served Cold” // Frozen Soul (Glacial Domination) – Current research shows that cold exposure can inhibit muscle growth and strength gain, but I’ve found that Frozen Soul has the opposite effect. Not only does “Best Served Cold” contain enough groove to fuel an entire workout, it also reminds you how to best enjoy your protein shake to refuel after.

“Mountain of Power” // All for Metal (Legends) – Do I really need to say anything about this one? It’s a song about a mountainous man of enormous strength with spoken word parts performed by a mountainous man of enormous strength. This is pure Holdeneye-bait.

“Tithe (The Money Song)” // By Fire and Sword (Glory)- When you’re trying to give 110% in the gym, sometimes that last 10% can be hard to come by. “Tithe” mentions building up kingdoms with our sweat and tells us to ‘remember that the pain is brief.’ With that kind of motivation, how can we not blow right past our preconceived limitations?

“Confined” // Disguised Malignance (Entering the Gateways) – I couldn’t let Steel corner the market on grimy old-school death metal, so I offer you “Confined,” one of the grooviest tracks of the year. If you’re like me, you’ll have a tough time keeping your arms confined within your sleeves after listening to this one.

“Power Surge” // Cruel Force (Dawn of the Axe) – No Heavy Moves Heavy playlist would be complete without some old-timey metal sounds, and “Power Surge” delivers its ancient payload with lethal precision. I dare you not to feel a surge in power as the intro gives way to the speedy main riff.

“Sword of Mars” // Warcrab (The Howling Silence) – “Sword of Mars” uses burly Bolt Thrower tremolos with hate-filled sludgy hardcore vocals to transform its listeners into statues of blade-wielding Greek (or Roman) gods. Queue this one up and experience divine results.

Steel Druhm Feeds the Floor to Posers:

“Slimebreeder” // Rotpit (Let There Be Rot) – No-nonsense, stupid heavy OSDM for no-nonsense stupid heavy gym days, Rotpit has the goods and the slime you need for the gainz and the pain. Feed this slime directly into your leg day. Not FDA approved.

“Cerebral Ingestion” // Carnal Tomb (Embalmed in Decay) – Mid-tempo caveman grooves heavy enough to pulp a power rack and with enough forward momentum to power you through any kind of exercise rigor. Just the right levels of ugly, brutal and gross,

“Vortex of Blood” // Grand Cadaver (Deities of Deathlike Sleep) – D-beating Swedeath goes grandly in the gym and Grand Cadaver drags a big stinking corpse into the room with this one. Entombed and Dismember-isms run like an everflowing stream directly into your veins and make you a better version of your crappy self.

“Cremator” // Dripping Decay (Festering Grotesquieries) – Short, sharp, shocking and so good at getting you all geeked up for that next big lift. This is Slaughter-core all day and that means thrashing, nasty heaviness in your face. You need this 2-minute adrenaline injection.

“Nemesis” // Serpent Corpse (Blood Sabbath) – When you fortify classic OSDM with massive, bone-crunching riffs and a scuzzy sound profile, it brings forth your worst angels. “Nemesis” borrows from Autopsy but goes nuclear with it and the results are tailor-made for gym idiots.

“Decrowned” // Vomitory (All Heads Are Gonna Roll) – Vomitory have been cranking out gym-friendly animalistic death forever, and “Decrowned” is a great example of their knuckle-dragging art. That fat chug at 1:55 will loosen your molars and make you feel things. Vomit: it’s not just for breakfast anymore.

“The Surgeon” // Overkill (Scorched) – A non-death metal song?? Hell yes, because Overkill is all about fists, broken bottles, and rusty shanks. 100% NJ attitude in one 5-minute dose. If that doesn’t get you in a focused place, no amount of preworkout will help your sorry ass.

“Planetary Obliteration” // Re-Buried (Repulsive Nature) – On the ragged edge of OSDM and slam lies this sick twist of a bastard. Feel the muscles in your arms and legs contort and start to fracture your skeletal system as the primal beatdowns blast your feeble mind. It’s obnoxious, brutish, and sounds like deadlifts gone very wrong.

“Me the Nothing” // Metal Church (Congregation of Annihilation) – An atypically heavy, grinding, vicious cut from the elder statesmen in Metal Church. There is simply no way to blast this and not feel the aggression surging in your blood. The insane vocals at chorus time will make you grind your teeth and hunger for weight.

“Who Told Me” // Prong (State of Emergency) – Prong supplied many songs to the Lift Lists ov Steel over the years, and “Who Told Me” is the latest nugget of New York-style hostility to get up in your face and make you want to brawl Jersey Shore idiots. Poke somebody in the chest after a personal best.

#2023 #Afterbirth #AllForMetal #Angerot #Autopsy #ByFireAndSword #CannibalCorpse #CarnalTomb #Carnosus #CattleDecapitation #CruelForce #Crypta #DisguisedMalignance #DrippingDecay #DyingFetus #Enforced #Finality #FrozenSoul #GodDisease #GrandCadaver #Gridlink #HeavyMovesHeavy #Hellripper #HumanitySLastBreath #Massen #MentalCruelty #MetalChurch #MysticProphecy #Nexorum #Nightmarer #Nothingness #OuterHeaven #Overkill #Phlebotomized #Plaguewielder #Prong #ReBuried #Rotpit #SerpentCorpse #SulphurAeon #Svartkonst #TardigradeInferno #ThyArtIsMurder #ToTheGrave #Vomitheist #Vomitory #Warcrab #Wormhole #Xoth

2023 - THE UPCOMING TERROR!⚔️
➡️March 10th, 2023⬅️

GOD DISEASE - Apocalyptic Doom🇫🇮🔥

2nd album from Helsinki, Finnish Death/Doom Metal outfit🔥

BC➡️https://gruesomerecords.bandcamp.com/album/apocalyptic-doom-2023 + YT➡️https://youtu.be/oHCljFniPQQ 🔥

#GodDisease #ApocalDoom @GruesomeRecords@twitter.com #TheUpcomingTerror23 #KMäN