September 30, 2023 - Day 273 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 293

Game: Gladiator Trainer
Platform: Steam
Release Date: Nov 26, 2016
Installation Date: May 14, 2019
Unplayed: 1600d (4y4m16d)
Playtime: 19m

Gladiator Trainer is available on Steam, and is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike a game.

It has many things in common with games. For instance, it has pictures. Graphics would infer some kind of movement. This game from 2016 contains less movement than Defender of the Crown (1986).

It's a "game" about making slaves fight as gladiators. Lovely.

Upon launching the game, like many other games, it throws you into a launcher first. The launcher is entirely empty, with the exception of a button at the bottom of the screen that says "Play Game".

Which then takes you to a main screen. While being set in a medieval-style fantasy land, it inexplicably has an anime girl on the main screen.

Presented with the option of keyboard control or mouse control, I chose the suggested mouse control.

This was a mistake.

It meant that clicking *anywhere* on screen at the wrong time would select the highlighted option.

That's when the highlighted option was selectable. Sometimes a list is available that presents options, but you can only select one.

Surprisingly, this game is still available on Steam. Normally priced at AUD$2.95, it's currently a steal at AUD$0.82.

That is, if you buy it, you'll feel like you've been ripped off for 82 cents.

I (apparently) got it as part of a bundle, and I still feel ripped off. This immediately dropped to the second worst game I've played this year.

The best thing you could do for yourself is search for this game on Steam, and then add it to your ignore list, so you may never need to suffer as I have suffered.

Gladiator Trainer makes me wish I had a lower rating than:

1: Nope

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