I've understood that for the most of the time, my gender is dormant if not missing altogether. Genderblank if not even agender. Difficult to say as if I don't observe it, I can't access it afterwards. I need to activate my gender in some way for it to be something else.

At home I don't need a gender so there it doesn't really exist. I don't have a need to dress up, for instance, so it's usually just something comfortable. No jewellery. Just between me, my wife, or our dog, no gender feelings.

When I go out (apart from walking the dog or grocery shopping) it's a different thing. Then my gender wakes up and I get to put something good-looking on. I actually enjoy both modes.

#NonBinary #GenderQueer #GenderFluid #GenderFlux #agender #GenderBlank

Gender of the moment is a metallic ball that emanates static hum and doesn't want to reveal its insides. On surface, there are delicate flowers growing. By terms, I've defaulted back to my winter time staticblank but even that doesn't completely fit.

#NonBinary #GenderFluid #StaticBlank #GenderBlank

I've been silent here for a long time. All is well, just haven't had anything queer to say. Thought that some might appreciate an update.

The biggest thing I've processed lately is my self-diagnosed autism. It's as if I got my gender processed -- at least for the time being -- and then moved to the next "new" part about my self. It's all an interesting tangle.

I've become more comfortable expressing my gender. I've added a non-binary flag to my work laptop and wore a non-binary t-shirt to the meeting with our new students. I've told about my identity to yet another coworker who took it nonchalantly, and let my superior know about my they/them pronouns. I also bought a beautiful necklace (pictured) from @skaly and have been wearing it almost daily. Usually I pair it with another necklace. At the moment, I change my nail color weekly.

My gender keeps fluctuating but I don't think about it daily. While there's no doubt about me being non-binary, I've even went through a period where I felt mostly guy. It's funny how that felt somehow strange! Right now I'm maverique with genderblank creeping in.

#NonBinary #GenderQueer #maverique #GenderBlank #GenderFluid #GenderFlux

Last year I settled with maverique being my default gender. During winter I thought I was mistaken and that genderblank was the default. In the last weeks we've gotten more light and the summer has now arrived. Maverique feels like the default again. I think the most plausible explanation is that my fluid gender is affected by light/warmth/season. I don't mind, this is pretty neat actually!

#NonBinary #GenderQueer #GenderFluid #maverique #GenderBlank #GenderFlux

I coined the term staticblank to describe my variety of genderless gender at the core of my gender. I've now noticed that as the staticky electric current quality comes and goes, genderblank is more fitting for the most part. Yet another fluid unit within my gender.

#NonBinary #GenderBlank #StaticBlank #GenderFluid

Now that I've found the genderblank part, it's easier to see why I don't always feel like performing gender. Then it's easy to default to masculine. So not performing gender leads to performing masculine. Ah well. Since the discovery, I haven't shaved. Feels nice for a change. Of course I've had the long goatee this whole time.

This morning I thought about the accessories. First felt like not choosing anything but then took the fake crystal bracelet. It went nicely with a sparkly silvery one. And just one extra ring, not the usual two. They sparked nonbinary joy while still being neutral in color, or even colorless.

#NonBinary #GenderBlank #NonBinaryJoy

Now that I've done another deep dive into the details of my gender, I don't think there are big differences to what I saw in June or July, when I first dissected it. Sure, I've found a part that I didn't recognize back then, that is the genderblank/staticblank. However, I did feel it last summer right after digging long enough. I just didn't recognize it.

Moreover, the constellation of the "engine genders" isn't what I thought, and I've found more precise terms. Seems that the feminine and genderfluff parts are very much intertwined, to the extent that with glitchgender, another new part I now found, they constitute a genderfluid unit of their own.

Still, I now see that I had an intuition of these things even then. Well, maybe not the glitching part. I just didn't have enough insight to actually recognize them. It was the first time when I really tasted these parts apart from just going with nonbinary/masculine/feminine classification. Since then, I've been aware of the ebbs and flows of my gender, have seen the intricate fluidness and flux.

As my eggversary approached, it was a perfect time to come back to search for details. It's truly fascinating!

#NonBinary #GenderFluid #GenderFlux #GenderFluff #GenderBlank #StaticBlank

During my morning meditation, as I was trying to reach the blank state of mind, I couldn't help thinking that there's already this blank part within. Also, it is reflected beautifully in ensō. 💜

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ens%C5%8D

#NonBinary #GenderBlank #StaticBlank #zen #ZenBuddhism

The discovery of my genderless part started with the mental visualization of my gender I did maybe two weeks ago. I already knew that the core wasn't exactly what I had verbalized but the visualization clearly showed that when my gender closes, the core is different. It was this differently colored ball that was hard to access. Well, turns out it was the genderblank, or more precisely staticblank. It's hard to access as it's mostly blank.

This morning I don't feel sad. I've learned more about myself. 💜

#NonBinary #GenderBlank #StaticBlank