@hugoestr LOL, exactly. They'll either charge you for using it, or they'll sell you adult diapers at the gate before you board if you do not bring your own.
#SaveYouAClick: some asshole decides to get cute, name their Bluetooth "BOMB" and freak everyone out, causing your long flight to return.
> United Airlines flight to Spain pulls U-turn, apparently over Bluetooth device name
https://www.npr.org/2026/05/31/nx-s1-5841913/united-airlines-flight-diversion-bluetooth
Fucking asshole. Reasons to avoid the #FlyingCattleCars
Reasons to avoid the #FlyingCattleCars: #assholes who try to open the door while in flight.
> United Airlines passenger tries to open plane door at 36,000 feet, assaulted traveler on flight from Newark https://nypost.com/2026/05/22/us-news/united-airlines-passenger-tries-to-open-plane-door-at-36000-feet-assaulted-traveler-on-flight-from-newark/
An unruly United Airlines passenger allegedly tried to open one of the plane’s doors at 36,000 feet and assaulted another traveler after the jet had taken off from Newark Liberty International Airp…
Reasons to avoid the #FlyingCattleCars: your plan may get a flat tire or two. This time it landed safely. . . this time.
> American Airlines flight gets 2 flat tires after landing at O'Hare Airport https://chicago.suntimes.com/news/2026/05/13/american-airlines-flight-lands-with-2-flat-tires-at-ohare-airport
> Drive 5 hours or fly 20 minutes? Remote towns suffer from lack of year-round flights https://www.npr.org/2026/05/12/nx-s1-5796244/aviation-rural-flights
I'll do the 5-hour drive, thank you. Or you can move out of the sticks if you want an airport. YMMV.
> Gun magazine found on Frontier flight, passengers forced to deplane https://abcnews.com/US/gun-magazine-found-frontier-airlines-flight-passengers-forced/story?id=132856291
Reasons to avoid the #FlyingCattleCars: some fuckbagel brings some ammo on board, they got to clear the whole plane.
Best part: "preliminary investigation indicates the magazine belongs to a law enforcement officer who may have left it behind on a previous flight."
You know, one of the #ResponsibleGunOwners.
> United Airlines CEO caught flying first class on American Airlines — after dissing rival carrier https://nypost.com/2026/05/10/us-news/united-airlines-ceo-caught-flying-first-class-on-american-airlines/
Jokes aside, turns out he actually still has "lifetime" travel privilege on American from his old contract.
Scott Kirby, the CEO of United Airlines, was caught flying first class with rival American Airlines, his old employer who he has repeatedly taken jabs at and even pitched a merger to after they let…
Reasons to avoid the #FlyingCattleCars: they are shitholes in the sky, but if you're willing to pay for it, it's on you.
> Air travel was already miserable. Now we get to pay more for it!
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2026/may/09/spirit-airlines-air-travel
Reasons to avoid the #FlyingCattleCars: as if human passenger #assholes are not bad enough, now a robot delays your flight.
> Passengers Groan as Robot Passenger Causes Hour-Long Delay at Oakland Airport https://futurism.com/robots-and-machines/humanoid-robot-airplane-delay
Side note: the robot was fine. It was the flight crew being dicks about it, eventually taking away the robot's battery.
Reasons to avoid the #FlyingCattleCars: your airline may hike the fares and/or cancel your flight, cut out your route, etc. Better to #StayHome and #StaySafe
> Airlines hike fares, cut millions of seats as Iran war drives up fuel costs https://www.aljazeera.com/economy/2026/5/6/airlines-hike-fares-cut-millions-of-seats-as-iran-war-drives-up-fuel-costs
A. Rivera
