I am digging this short shorts summer fit.

#euphoric
#transjoy
#transjoyisresistance

So I've noticed in my recovery isolation post-#orchi that I've been in my emotional feelings a lot more. Sometimes in a #euphoric way, sometimes in a #dysphoric way.

In a group chat the other day with local queers on #Signal , the topic came up of sexual encounters that felt off...

[START OF CW]

I disclosed the story of my first time with a woman, which I thought was completely consensual for the past 11 years (I was 19, she would've been in her early twenties). Apparently was an act of #rape by coercion/deception on her part. At the time, I simply registered as betrayal at the time. I guess that it was betrayal, but it was more than that.

The thing that revokes consent? After the sex, she revealed that she hid a wedding ring in her pocket, that she was cheating on her soon-to-be-hubby, and that she was using me to do so. If I had known ANY of that, I would've turned her down on-the-spot. And then she had the audacity to say that if I told anyone about this, she would file #SA charges...and since I presented 'male' at the time (my #egg would not crack for another 8 years) and had internalized that a woman's word would be valued over a man's in a SA case, I believed that no one would believe me.

I've spent a chunk of the last 48 hours processing that what happened to me was #rape . I have decided I'll be talking this over with my therapist before posting the details on other forms of social media. I'm focusing on healing now and the trauma feels muted yet always there under the surface....and I do wonder if it made my #dysphoria harder to process at the time.

To date, she's the only #ciswoman I've had any #sexual relations with.

[END OF CW]

#update #trans #transbian #transgender #transwoman #translesbian #triggerwarning #contentwarning #transfeminine #trauma

PlatonischerRebell - Lost in the Glow - YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Htt8iG7tFHA #youtube Lost in the Glow ist nicht einfach nur ein Song – es ist ein Trip durch das Nachtleben, eine Hymne an die endlosen Stunden auf der Tanzfläche, ein Fest für alle, die im Rhythmus verschwinden wollen. #Trance #ElectronicMusic #Euphoric #LostInTheGlow #ProgressiveTrance #MelodicHouse #FestivalVibes #EDMCommunity #NightlifeVibes

Let's respect the buzz
this chemical addition
to our bloodstream brings

Fear not potential addiction
to achieve this #euphoric state
(temporary as it may be)

Reality sure ain't that great

So what if our mood enhancing vice
hastens our inevitable demise

Why not ride this thrill ride guilt free?

#vss365 #poem #poetry #amwriting