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[Eddie] We have tried everything we know how to do. While we have the ability to kick out headmates, we really really hesitate to do it, and this is the only time we have ever done it; because it was a case of repeated violence. I will try not to get into too much detail on the exact offenses.
Originally we jailed him. Jailing does not really work, it just makes the imprisoned bitter, and the jailer feel guilty. Thay lasted maybe a week. We let him out on the condition that he would try to improve. He showed little to no interest in doing this. It has been a year, he continued to follow around the headmates he originally hurt (who used to be one headmate, but split because of this) and ignore their boundaries and autonomy.
We generally do not have a correctionalist culture; when harm is done, we try to understand why, and don't try to "get fair," instead trying to heal.
But after repeated harm for such a long time, with such severe consequences, kicking him out was the least harmful thing we could do. He has shown that he cannot (or does not want to) live peacefully in a group dynamic. His healing should not come at the price of others' safety.
We are trying to settle.
As for language: Yes! it is so hard to find words that fit! For us, familial connections are mostly chosen. Though headmates who split from the same original headmate often refer to each other as siblings. They are not exactly siblings, and they don't really treat each other like how singlet siblings do. (If someone expected them to act as singlet siblings, they would be shocked to say the least.) It is so hard to explain to anyone 
#eddie✉️ #marlostuff