Hitchhiker's Guide Quote BotMarvin: Life, don't talk to me about life.
"I will thank you," said the Hitchhiker's Guide Mk II, "to mind your language. I am fully programmed to take offense."
"But I'm quite used to being humiliated," droned Marvin, "I can even go and stick my head in a bucket of water if you like. Would you like me to go and stick my head in a bucket of water? I've got one ready. Wait a minute."
"Er, hey, Marvin ..." interrupted Zaphod, but it was too late. Sad little clunks and gurgles came up the line.
"What's he saying?" asked Trillian.
"Nothing," said Zaphod, "he just phoned to wash his head at us."
Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-two million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea.
Grown men, he told himself, in flat contradiction of centuries of accumulated evidence about the way grown men behave, do not behave like this.
Zaphod Beeblebrox: B – b – but who are you, man? Why do I want to see you? I was told you were on an intergalactic cruise, which [offhandedly] I can handle...but in your office, which I can’t.
"But you like the way it's changed?" demanded Ford.
"I like everything," moaned the robot. "Especially when you shout at me like that. Do it again, please."
"Just tell me what's happened!"
"Oh, thank you, thank you!"
“Funny,” he intoned funereally, “how just when you think life can’t possibly get any worse it suddenly does.”
"Ford," he said, "you're turning into a penguin. Stop it."
Several billion trillion tons of superhot exploding hydrogen nuclei rose slowly above the horizon and managed to look small, cold and slightly damp.