#DOFH excuse #25:

Systemd went rogue.

#DOFH excuse #33:

Your service has been suspended by the cloud provider.

#DOFH excuse #38:

Condensation from cloud backup caused data center EPO.

#DOFH excuse #46:

We're searching Stack Overflow for the solution.

#DOFH excuse #8:

Solution hidden on second page of Google.

#DOFH excuse #100:

Intel processor vulnerability.

#DOFH excuse #67:

BGP border control agents furloughed due to government shutdown.

#DOFH excuse #50:

AWS is down

#DOFH excuse #1:

Admin executed random code from Stack Overflow.

#DOFH excuse #18:

Your processor does not develop enough heat.