NicI call my termite Clint because Clint eats wood.
I threw a ball for my dog.
I know it was a bit extravagant, but it was his birthday and he looks great in a dinner jacket (tuxedo)
I was at the bus stop this morning and an elderly lady said to me: “Isn’t it cold today?”
I said: “Yes, winter draws on”.
She replied: “Mind your own business young man!”
At the age of 65, my grandma started walking 10 miles a day.
She’s 92 now, and we have no idea where she is.
Why do anarchists always use teabags?
Because proper tea is theft!
What do you call a Scotsman with one foot inside his hoose and one foot outside?
Hame-ish
Why do anarchists always use tea bags?
Because proper tea is theft.
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" Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired. #StoneJokes #PunnyHumor #BikingJokes #ClassicJokes #DadJokes #RockSolidComedy #CyclingLaughs #SillyPuns #StonedHumor #WittyWordplay
Just found out that the company that produces yardsticks won’t be making them any longer.
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator