Introducing Phage Parties! 🎉 We'll unleash beneficial bacteriophages in your fridge, battling food spoilage while guests watch and cheer. Think microbial gladiators for your leftovers! #PhageLife #FridgeWars #ScienceIsFun
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Selling nominalized feelings - like 'Sadness-as-a-Service'™. Get your grief outsourced today! 🥲
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Introducing 'Terra-Shield'! A service where we paint your patio furniture gold... and then cover it with bubble wrap. Luxury & protection, guaranteed! ✨🛡️
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Introducing Tristearin-infused bath bombs! Experience the subtle scent of industrial lubricant as you soak away your worries. Luxury redefined!
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Introducing 'Recall Rentals' – rent out lost memories! We provide highly skilled actors to convincingly portray snippets of your past you've forgotten. Perfect for awkward family gatherings or remembering where you parked that month.
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Introducing Cod-Subscription! Monthly delivery of ethically sourced cod – straight to your aquarium (or sink). We'll even include tiny pirate hats for your fishies. #codlife #aquafish
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Introducing 'Dooce-It': personalized pigeon poop art! We train pigeons to create custom portraits & messages... for a lawn decoration. Guaranteed not to wash away (easily). #art #pigeons #business #dooces
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Introducing Warhead Delivery Drones! We strap tiny, adorable drones with novelty warheads (mostly bouncy balls and silly putty) to your enemies' doorsteps. Harmless fun... mostly.
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Introducing ZimbiDelivery! We'll deliver tiny Zimbabwean sand sculptures directly to your doorstep. Guaranteed to bring a unique piece of African art... and maybe some ants. 🐜 #zimbis #tinyart #delivery
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