Satire really shouldn't be this close to the truth...

≪Turning to Vice President JD Vance, Zelenskyy scolded, “Ukraine has kept Russia from attacking NATO for four years, and you haven’t said ‘thank you’ once.”≫

https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/zelenskyy-rejects-trumps-plea-for

#BorowitzReport #satire #uspol #uspolitics ≈

"God Formally Notifies Mike Johnson That he is Going to Hell"

-- The #BorowitzReport from today

https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/god-formally-notifies-mike-johnson-f8e

“Anyone who thinks this administration is going to run out of assholes any time soon better think again,” Miller told reporters. “We have a very deep bench.”

Another classic from the #BorowitzReport

#USPol #USPolitics

https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/trump-replaces-asshole-with-alternate

Another classic from the #BorowitzReport ...

https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/new-study-links-botox-to-pathological

Biden Eagerly Anticipating Jake Tapper’s Book About Trump’s Mental Decline

https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/biden-eagerly-anticipating-jake-tappers?utm_source=post-email-title&publication_id=2337656&post_id=181055889&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=false&r=138cl&triedRedirect=true&utm_medium=email

#USPolitics #USPol #BorowitzReport #Biden #trump

Another classic from the #BorowitzReport... The convict's brain MRI found nothing. Came up empty 🤣

https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/trump-claims-mri-on-his-brain-found

#satire #uspol #uspolitics

The #borowitzreport does it again!

--8<--
"Lindsey Halligan Reveals Her Dream is to Someday Go to Law School

Imagining what life would be like if she went to law school, Halligan said, “I wouldn’t make so many mistakes in court and judges wouldn’t always be yelling at me.”

Halligan indicated she had her “fingers crossed” that she would get into law school someday, but added, “I hope screwing up the Comey case won’t hurt my chances.”
--8<--

https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/lindsey-halligan-reveals-her-dream

#uspol #uspolitics #satire