Apparently it is June.

I'm not entirely sure how that happened.

Saturday was spent running the Career Village for the amazing The Diana Initiative 2026, which from Porto meant cheerfully talking careers, resumes, mentoring, and cybersecurity until well after midnight because time zones are merely suggestions.

@sashatheflamingo apparently took this very seriously and is now updating her resume.

Current qualifications include:

• Professional Flamingo
• International Conference Mascot
• Career Coach Adjacent
• Advanced Seagull Observation Specialist
• Honeypot Quality Assurance Engineer
• Threat Intelligence Consumer of Questionable Credentials

Yesterday was devoted to server upgrades, honeypots, logs, patches, more logs, and the eternal battle against entropy.

This morning one of my colocation facilities appears to have decided that networking is optional.

It must be Monday.

Still, there are worse places to start a Monday.

It's my first June in Porto.
The Atlantic is a short walk away.

#BSidesPorto is coming up later this month, where I'll be sharing "Cloud Misconfigurations: Oh Look Something Fluffy, Poke Poke Poke."

The honeypots are humming.

The coffee situation remains unchanged because I still don't drink coffee.

And somewhere out there a server is either having an existential crisis or a network engineer is having one.

Happy June, everyone.

If you need me, I'll be staring at monitoring dashboards and pretending they can feel shame. #CyberSecurity #Infosec #hacking #cloudcomputing

Today's the day.

@sashatheflamingo and I are wheels up to Porto tonight, and before anyone gets dramatic about it — this is not goodbye. I want to be very clear about that. This is not goodbye.

When I moved to Cupertino, half of you didn't even know I'd left. I was back so often the city probably didn't update my record. Chicago has a way of doing that — pulling you back in, acting casual about it, like it wasn't even trying.

So no. Not goodbye. More of a... extended away message with excellent wine. 😁

Chicago, you are loud and freezing and chaotic and I have loved you stubbornly for a very long time. You have the L and my Redline, which is objectively a disaster and also somehow iconic. You have the people. My people. 🥰 And you have a condo with a very important statue in it (#3/1000, holding down the fort, not taking questions).

I'll be back. I always come back. I just come back with better stories now.
Porto gets me and Sasha tonight. Chicago keeps a piece of me always.
Sasha would like everyone to know she has reviewed the farewell situation and found it satisfactory. She is, however, already thinking about the Port. 🍷

Honestly? Same.

Até já, Chicago. That means "see you soon."

Because I will - in fact, back May 18-20th - see, told you so.
#CyberSecurity #hacking #BSidesPorto

Chicago had the L.

Porto has cobblestones.

I have reviewed the threat landscape. The cobblestones are a known issue. I have secured a shoulder to sit on @rnbwkat My plumage remains impeccable and I will not be elaborating further.

What I will be elaborating on: the food. The pastéis de nata. The fresh seafood. The francesinha, which I have been told is either a magnificent culinary achievement or a crime scene and I intend to find out personally.

And the Port.

We are moving to Vila Nova de Gaia. Do you understand what that means? The Port wine lodges are literally there. This is not a coincidence. This was strategic. (Kat says it wasn't. Kat is wrong.)

Porto, cá estou eu!

#BSidesPorto June 26th–27th. Come find us. I'll be the flamingo. She'll be the one mainlining Port and pretending her Portuguese is better than it is.

— Sasha 🦩

T-minus 10 days!!!

In #CyberSecurity terms, I'm about to deliberately walk into an entirely new threat landscape with no local threat intel, a foreign language I'm still actively patching. The attack surface has changed. The adversaries are now cobblestones, bureaucratic Portuguese, and the very real possibility that I will confidently order the wrong thing at a restaurant and just go with it. Threat level: manageable. Vibes: elevated!!

The honeypots aren't moving. They never do - that's the whole point. They stay scattered where they are, quietly doing their thing, collecting everything. The only thing changing is where the intel gets delivered. Starting April 29th, that's Porto.

I'm a little concerned they're going to start sending it in #Portuguese. 🤷‍♀️

Half my home lab is already there ahead of me. ZimaBoard, #opnsense the Pis - all running, all waiting, probably judging me for not arriving sooner. Home Assistant is next on the list once I land, which means I get to find out whether my automations survived the relocation or whether I'm about to have a very intimate conversation with Portuguese error messages. Could go either way.

And yes, I'm leaving behind the Chicago "L". The L. An elevated rail system so charmingly held together by decades of deferred maintenance and sheer Chicagoan stubbornness that honestly, it's kind of a security metaphor. I'm going to miss the ambiance of a train that sounds like it's actively negotiating with physics.

The Metro stop is literally across the street from my apartment. It's clean. It's modern. It's quiet. The trains run on time. I don't know how I'll cope. 👀

@sashatheflamingo is excited but has concerns about the cobblestones hurting her feet. I told her she can ride on my shoulder. Problem solved. The flamingo adapts. 🦩

And if you're in the security community and haven't looked at #BSidesPorto yet - June 26th and 27th - I don't know what to tell you except that you're going to miss an awesome event if you don't get your tickets - NOW! And come find me. I'll be the one who showed up 60 days before the conference and is still figuring out which bus/metro train goes where.

The operation doesn't stop. It just changes coordinates. The #honeypots already know. They figured it out before I told them. (That's kind of their whole thing.)

🆕 New event added:

📌 BSidesPorto
📅 Jun 26-27, 2026
📍 Porto 🇵🇹
🔗 https://bsidesporto.org

#infosec #cybersecurity #conference #Bsidesporto #Portugal