I didn’t do much today, either.

But I did discover some awesome country music courtesy of lovely friends on Facebook and I took a long nap and cuddled with Moonie and Véra. I also called Autumn and Hawthorne.

All of the socializing took a lot out of me, but I had a great time. I want to call Delta soon..

-Allēna

#autumn #AutumnThePartner #chronicFatigue #CountryMusic #delta #Hawthorne #polyamory #socializingAsADisabledPerson #whereTheFuckIsMyDeltaTag

Synesthetic Curation

Hey, everyone. Lazarus here. Thanks to a hefty dose of caffeine last night and apparent executive dysfunction surrounding sleep, I re-downloaded the Pinterest app in an attempt to express what the fuck my brainhole does when I feel emotions or encounter a fascinating or special person. As I’ve said before in some other posts, I’m a synesthete and stroke survivor, which leads to my brain doing some interesting shit especially around emotions that are difficult to put into words. Visual art, therefore, is a much more effective way of getting the point across. While I CAN draw, paint, and create other forms of visual art, the amount of imagery my brain produces in a single minute is damn near incomprehensible even to me, so it makes much more sense to curate existing imagery and create my own when I can’t find anything batshit enough to fit what I need. Pinterest comes in handy for this sort of large scale imagery curation, as it is a visual search engine and quite an efficient one!

Move over, Google Emoji Combiner. Pinterest to the rescue!

Here is just a mere sampling of what my brainhole does in response to three of my partners respectively, Zelda, Hawthorne, and Autumn. I’ll post links to their boards, as well. I apologize in advance if any of these images were generated with AI, as  many of the Pin creators don’t specify whether or not they were, and I hate that. I’ll avoid posting any here that are clearly marked as such.

A small sampling of Zelda’s board. The full thing, thus far, is here.

A small sampling of Hawthorne’s board. The full board is here.

Last but certainly not least, here’s a small sampling of Autumn’s board. The full board is here.

I hope y’all enjoyed this peep into my brainhole. Stay tuned for more magic, esteemed gremlins, very soon…

-Lazarus ✨

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#AutumnThePartner #Hawthorne #imagery #Pinterest #polyamory #synesthesia #Zelda #ZeldaSystem

Down Every Rabbit Hole, Everywhere

Hey, everyone. Lazarus again, back once more with your daily dose of bullshit, hehe. It’s been a slow day so far, both in my brain and otherwise. If you guessed that insomnia is still sort of kicking my ass, you got it in one. But being tired can have its advantages, namely that it makes me fucking funny. Do I have less object permanence than normal, though? Absolutely. I’m losing every single worldly possession of mine over here.

Sheik of the Zelda System is gaming beside me after binge watching several episodes of Supernatural season seven, as has winding our way through that absolute shit show become our tradition on their days off. So I’ve got my headphones on and am simply seeing where my brainhole takes me. We both appeared to have great dates last night, them with our mutual beloved Emerson (and the leftovers I received were fucking amazing, as well) and I had a great virtual date with my darling Autumn. They’re wickedly funny, and kept making me cackle with laughter midsentence. I had needed that date, to be honest. It had been a few weeks since our last one and I missed them something fucking fierce. There’s been much less drama and fewer trashfires of late, and times like these remind me that polyamory is truly a wonderful experience. No regrets. I can’t ever go back, even when shit gets rough. I’m just not built that way.

Now, seeing as my mind feels like pudding that has been repeatedly electrocuted, I’m probably gonna leave y’all for the day. Will my brain let me fucking sleep? Probably not. Am I about to go down a research rabbit hole trying to figure out who a certain actress was in an episode of Supernatural? Oh yeah. That’s been on the agenda since I first saw the actress and recognized her as the same actress who plays Kaylee Frye in Firefly, haha. My brain needs to DEFINITELY be stopped. At least I’m attempting to rest, right?

[crickets chirp faintly in the distance]

Anyway. Before I go, memes. I can’t just skitter away without DEPRIVING y’all!

Why are Facebook ads Like This?

Stay tuned for more magic, y’all. And tomfuckery. There’s always that.

Your eternally insleepriated sorcerer,

-Lazarus

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#AutumnThePartner #Emerson #ibuprofenExperiment #insomnia #memes #relationships #relaxing #Sheik #sleepDeprivation #sliceOfLife #vitaminB100Experiment #Zelda

Episode YES: Insomnia Strikes Back

Hello, cherished mothers and fuckers. Lazarus here once more with your daily Des Moines Cropduster (context below, thanks, Theo).

I’ve started calling posting on here or sharing a link to a post I make a “Des Moines Cropduster” because of my eldritch headmate’s masterful nonsense. Ergo, you’re being Cropdusted as we speak….

I thought this prompt looked interesting and I have a few responses for y’all.

If you had a freeway billboard, what would it say?

Here are my favorite contenders thus far:

Ashley Halliwell’s Brainhole, New and Improved, Under New Management. NOW WITH MORE INSOMNIA!

Got questions? We have answers. Believe them or else.

The speed limit on this freeway is 80mph. But we bet you are not going as fast as MY BRAIN CAN PROCESS EVERYTHING…

How many sins have you committed today? Not as many as This Motherfucker. [photo of my face] If you can commit more Christological heresies than This Bitch in a 24 hour period, YOU get a free cardboard box.

Got Lore? We Sure Do. Follow For More.

All of the potential billboards would include a link to Open Sorcery for the bit, of course.

And simply to up the ante, I would place the billboards in and around the Cleveland, Ohio metro area. What can I say? I know my audience.

In case y’all can’t tell by the above dastardly suggestions and the post title, insomnia is STILL kicking my ass. I am beginning to wonder if it’s because of the fact that, on top of the vitamin B supplements I’ve been taking, I have started taking ibuprofen and Tylenol every 4-6 hours when I don’t lose time to deal with my chronic pain further. It’s working wonderfully for the pain. However, there’s been one absolute motherfucker of an unintended consequence. My brain has come completely, exhaustingly alive again, just like it did before my now-integrated headmate Allēna came down with mono when she was 16.

It doesn’t shut up. Nothing helps it. Not sex (for very long, anyway), not getting stoned off my ass, NOTHING. Zilch. Nada. The only thing that even remotely helps is letting myself pursue whatever idea has fascinated me until I’m so thoroughly burnt out and exhausted that I see fucking double and finally pass out. And even then, I sleep maybe 4-6 hours a night. It’s very, very rare these days that I get more sleep than that, and the sleep I get is absolute garbage. My dreams are vivid. I toss, I turn, I’m up every few hours… I swear I’m more delirious than asleep.

Am I simply a husky in human form?

This shit has made me intimately and acutely aware of why my strictly enforced bedtime was 8PM for most of my youth. I didn’t fucking sleep! I COULDN’T fucking sleep!

I’m realizing as well why my dad, Xavier, and my late grandmother, Rose, were always doing projects, as well, and I am more grateful for this blog and my myriad other projects and interests every day.

Rose was a chemist by trade, ran every damn social club in her town, was a former art dealer with a glorious collection of beautiful art, gourmet chef/baker, read books backwards, and I never saw her sleep more than four to six hours, either, before she got very sick in 2010. She was an indisputable genius whose brain was also fucking ALIVE, and frankly I can’t blame her for having so many interests and being constantly on the move. If I could handle it physically, I would be, too. Lord knows I am mentally at this point.

Fuck.

Well, that’s enough bitching about my blazing fast brainhole from me for one day. I’m probably gonna watch some TV and scream into the void or something, also known as every DM in existence. Emerson and Zelda are spending the night together and going out to a Fancy Restaurant tonight which means that your gremlin gets delicious leftovers, hehe. I live for tasty leftovers. I’m also calling my cozy partner in Michigan, Autumn, later. They were the suitor I mentioned a bit ago in this post and things are going so well! So things aren’t all shitty in my brain.

But before I go… Memes.

Stay tuned for more magic, lovely entities! I love y’all.

Cropdusting complete. Lazarus out.

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#2010 #annoyance #AutumnThePartner #chronicFatigue #chronicIllness #chronicIllnessRecovery #dailyprompt #dailyprompt1808 #DesMoinesCropduster #EBV #Emerson #ibuprofenExperiment #insomnia #jokes #memes #processingTrauma #ramble #rant #Rose #Theo #vitaminB100Experiment #Xavier #Zelda #ZeldaSystem