“Mother’s Day”
Today my dad will call my mom
And thank her for my existence
I do not thank her for it
But I can’t say that aloud
I am not suicidal!
But I am always terrified or unhappy
Maybe not always
How often do you feel hopeless, like you would be better off dead?
Most days, some days, or not at all?
I roll the question around in my brain
Some days.
I don’t want to die.
Actually I’m terrified of death
I want to live so badly
I want to experience everything
Fear and chronic symptoms
That’s what holds me back
Today my dad will call my mom
To thank her for my existence
Today I will take several pills
They keep me here
But they don’t fix me.
#Ramblings #poem #spoonie #disabled #anxiety-disorder #depression #chronic-pain


Sara 


