Welp, guess I have a great big "told ya so" to deliver to my psychologist next Wednesday.

#WW3 #MentalHealth #Anxiety #MentalIllness #ocd #PTSD #agoraphobia #cptsd

Does anyone else get zaps? Like little electric shocks in their body. Had some scary ones across my chest this morning, they didn’t hurt, but very uncomfortable.

Apparently could be linked to POTS or mould, which would fit with the MCAS and histamine intolerance.

I’m seeing my gp on Tuesday, but will go to walk in/emergency if gets worse etc.

#POTS #MCAS #HistamineIntolerance #Fibromyalgia #CFSME #CFS #ME #Anxiety #Depression #Agoraphobia #AuDHD #ADHD #Autistic

"how are you going?"

#audhd #autism #adhd #disability #neurodiverse #MentalHealth #Anxiety #MentalIllness #ocd #PTSD #agoraphobia #cptsd

While I’m definitely on the mend, this week has been a real struggle on the #MajorDepression front. I’m not enjoying the added twist of #Agoraphobia that has latched onto this episode.

I really have to go to work now but the world is a scary place. It’s after 10:00! I HAVE to go…I’m going now….

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#17ºRibeiraSacra #Agoraphobia #AzkenaRockFestival #BilbaoBBKLive #FestivalSinsal...
https://www.guitarcalavera.com/finalistas-de-los-iberian-festival-awards-2026/?utm_medium=Guitar%20Calavera%20&fsp_sid=2250&utm_source=Mastodon%20&utm_campaign=finalistas-de-los-iberian-festival-awards-2026%20

Today is a bad day.

I went in to get med refills, but I couldn't afford them because the fucking free doctor prescribed them wrong. So I haven't had my meds for a week. Went to get the correct ones today, and they were $40.

Awesome. So I had to do a walk in I didn't mean to do. Got the meds prescribed for the third fucking time, and I was so stressed out I left without ever picking them up.

Went back to pick up my meds, was going to celebrate with a vape. Vape mod is missing. I look for it everywhere. It's gone. I lost it somewhere in all the stress of trying to save $40.

This is the poverty tax. To save $40, I lost $80. It is the snake that eats itself.

Also I have a second job interview next week. Unfortunately I also have agoraphobia, and my vape was my safety signal.

I'm freaking out and I need to replace it now. I will do anything to replace it. But to prevent myself from engaging in desperate, self-destructive acts, I'm going to have to require myself to do nothing.

I'm so fucked. I was getting $100 from a friend soon and none of it matters because I can never get ahead and begging for scraps kills my fucking soul.

So I'm begging. Because a soul can't live without a body, and I've been a body without a soul long enough.

No GFM. This is an emergency. If I have to wait, I might as well go inpatient and fuck both job interviews.

https://cash.app/$CeruleanArc
https://venmo.com/joanburgos

P.S. Oh and next week I'll need new Adderall. So this is all hell. I get $20, it's gone. Beg for more. If you have anything, please spare me more hell. I am so close, but I'm so tired too. I can't take much more of this. At this point I feel like I'd lose less self esteem finding people to fuck me for money on Craigslist.

#MutualAid #TransJoy #PovertyTax #Agoraphobia #MedicalAbuse #Disability #EmergencyAid #Venmo #CashApp #ButlerPA #Pittsburgh #LPC #SupportArtists #MutualAidRequest

Today I met a dog who had freed himself. He had snapped the link binding his collar to a ground leash. He was lovely, sweet, and playing with my dog, Riko. But he had zero tags.

I tried to do the right thing. I tailed him, let him and Riko play, and as they did I called every animal "help" organization in Butler, Pennsylvania. Not a single one answered.

Finally, I called the police. They told me there were "no beds" for that dog and they couldn't do anything at all. Then they asked the question that broke me: "Are you willing to care for the dog?"

With what money? I told him. I'd literally just paid the City of Butler $1.50—every penny I had—to take a bus to a transfer just to run a basic errand. I have zero dollars. I am homeless. I cannot help myself, let alone a dog the City of Butler can't be bothered to budget for.

I have the will, but no means. Butler has the means, but no will.

A city must ever turn its face toward its god. For Butler, that god is Money. You see it in how they recently severed their bus system from Pittsburgh’s to hoard fare revenue, stranding people like me for an hour at a time (whenever a bus "decides" not to come). You see it in how they leave living beings to suffer because saving them doesn't turn a profit.

The dog I was forced to leave behind was a Pit Bull. He had healed scar tissue around his muzzle. I'm no precog, but I know what happens to stray pits with muzzle scars. I am disgusted with a world that forces those of us who want to help to stand by helplessly because we are broke, while the institutions meant to help protect only their wallets.

Y'all could make me feel a little better about the world by giving me more power to have an effect on it. Because I really fucking wish I could've kept that sweet dog instead of leaving him to die.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/ellis-emergency-fund
http://cash.app/$CeruleanArc
https://venmo.com/joanburgos

#MutualAid #ButlerPA #AnimalWelfare #SystemicFailure #Poverty #Agoraphobia #PitBull #Capitalism #Disability #AuDHD

P.S. No picture. I was horribly harried while hopelessly hustling help and hewing my head over the horrendous hindsight that I could do haught for the hapless hound.

P.P.S. Sorry. I alliterate when I'm upset.

P.P.P.S. Why do I have agoraphobia? This. This is fucking why I have agoraphobia. Some bad shit is ALWAYS happening, and I'm somehow the only one that ever seems to notice or care, and it's EXHAUSTING. 😭

You know you’re chronically ill when the drs is always selected whenever you open your contacts 😂

Absolute nightmare getting through this morning, I managed a to get a telephone appointment, I’ll go to walk in/A&E if anything gets worse.

#Fibromyalgia #Fibro #Type2Diabetic #CFSME #CFS #ME #Depression #Anxiety #Agoraphobia #AuDHD #ADHD #Autistic #Allergies #MCAS #HistamineIntolerance