In the Darkness, I mend

Sharing my old notes from May 11, 2026 I walked in the darkness, consuming my entire soul, my life filled with negativity, and struggling to find the light to brighten my spirit. I walked through the narrow road. I felt empty, lost, and alone. My heart was full of melancholy. I lost my spark and gradually lost hope. How I wish to disappear, for a moment to breathe, to mend myself again. But that's life. Life goes on. It never stops, even though you are lost in the labyrinth. It never stops, […]

https://personalblog5177.wordpress.com/2026/06/24/in-the-darkness-i-mend/

Therapist: You're allowed to have complex feelings about your dad. He was a complex man, hiding and holding different identities.

Me: I just want things to be less complex for a while.

Therapist: Valid. But you're beginning to let yourself feel all the things. You're not trying to run from it or shut it down.

Huh. Growth.
Also, TIL I should probably stop telling my inner voice to fuck off.

Therapist: She only wants safety. Recognize that and tell her you can handle it.

Me: So not 'fuck off'.

Therapist: Being gentle with yourself is important.

#Therapy
#GhostDad
#Adulting

When there’s beer left over after the company annual party you take the beer. I don’t make the rules

#china #shenzhen #drinkresponsibly #badchoices #adulting #corporate
I traded a shift with a younger coworker so they would not miss football practice. Didn't have anything planned for Father's Day, but am regretting it some as I drag myself out of bed this morning.. #life #adulting

My community circus is holding a handstand-a-thon tomorrow to raise funds but I have to work.

So I'm at home today filming random footage of me upside down in a monkey onesie so I can take part in absentia.

#adulting

No close friends at 30? Stop blaming life getting busy. You got comfortable being surface-level. #truth #adulting #mentalhealth
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Tried it.

Didn't work *sigh*  

#Adulting #Dust #Moomins

I'm so overwhelmed right now. This pile of linens came from my hallway linen closet. I still have baby sheets & blankets. My kids are 20 & 16. There's twin sheets. We don't even own twin beds. 🤣🤣🤣 Why can't I let stuff GO?

I can handle this.

Hopefully I can get rid of 80% of this, so there's room for the yarn bins in the linen closet which means I could move my hanging clothes in my bedroom.

Photo is a messy mountain of linens piled on the floor. #adulting

#Adulting: went for drinks with a friend, and we discussed #ISO #certification for a non-trivial amount of time (all the good ones: #9001, #14001, and best one: #27001).

Right now I literally have to do max 1-2 adulting things per day. Why is that still so hard?

#adulting #spoons